No Other Love Page 9

  ‘Accusations about what?’ Sophie asked perplexed.

  ‘That the business is failing and that’s why you’ve done a runner.’

  ‘She’s saying what!!’ Sophie’s high-pitched voice caught the attention of the other customers.

  That scheming bitch. Sophie didn’t have to hazard a guess as to why Alison would start a rumour like that. Alison knew exactly what button to push to get Sophie to come out of hiding, and she would stop at nothing to get what she wanted. Even though it wasn’t Sophie herself. It was Alison’s ego that was bruised, and Sophie knew she was in for an earful once she got hold of her.

  ‘The phone’s ringing off the hook, Sophie,’ Sue said with a sense of urgency. ‘Clients are getting spooked. I don’t know what to do.’

  ‘Look, don’t panic,’ Sophie said calmly, even though she was feeling slightly panicked herself. ‘Forward all calls to my phone from now on. I’ll deal with things from this end. And don’t worry about Alison. I’ll call her later.’

  ‘Okay, but when are you coming back?’

  ‘I don’t know yet,’ Sophie said.

  It all depends how long it takes me to sort out this mess with Amber.

  Chapter Fourteen

  ‘Your mum tells me you were packing, and ready to go back to New York last night?’ Joseph said from his prone position on the sofa. ‘I’m glad you decided to stay.’

  Amber felt the heat rising to her cheeks as she remembered the catalyst behind her decision to leave. Dragging her mind away from the memory, she said, ‘Yeah. I was being a bit impetuous.’

  ‘You were? That doesn’t sound like you.’ Joseph feigned innocence when Amber rolled her eyes at him. ‘D’you want to talk about it, or did you thrash it all out with your mum?’

  ‘It’s all right, Dad. I think you’ve got more important things to worry about than my problems.’ Amber walked over to him and kissed him on the top of his head. ‘But thanks anyway.’

  Overnight, she’d already come to a couple of realisations. Running away was not the answer to her problem. Neither was trying to bury her feelings for Sophie. Like her mum had said, she’d tried that, and it hadn’t worked. No, what Amber needed to do was face her feelings head on. Admit them. Own them. Live with them. It was time to realise that no one could replace Sophie, and if they did, whoever the woman was would be a poor copy.

  It really was as simple as that.

  And as for their kiss last night? Amber could hardly put it down to Sophie being under the influence, she hadn’t touched a drop of alcohol all evening. She couldn’t even put it down to nostalgia as they weren’t exactly having an in-depth conversation about anything meaningful. The only explanation was Sophie just being Sophie. She hadn’t changed much from being a teenager who just did whatever took her fancy at that moment.

  ‘No, it’s okay, Dad. I got it sorted. I’m good.’ She offered her dad a smile as he watched her closely.

  ‘Right-o, but you know, if ever—’

  ‘I know,’ Amber said. ‘I’m going to make tea, fancy a cup?’

  ‘Sure, why not.’

  Amber had never drunk so much tea in her life since arriving home. In New York, she literally lived on coffee. She drank it from the moment she woke up until around seven p.m. when she reluctantly switched to water, otherwise she’d be too wired to sleep. Yet the thought of consuming so much of it now made her feel queasy. She hadn’t realised how much she enjoyed a nice cup of tea, a drink that didn’t spike her adrenaline and give her anxiety.

  The doorbell rang just as she was about to enter the kitchen. Turning in the direction of the door, Amber saw the too familiar figure of Sophie through the frosted glass.

  Amber snorted. What the hell is she doing here? It was as if she kept showing up like a bad penny just to remind Amber of her existence.

  Amber headed to the door, and as she spied the figure through the frosted glass, her heart had already started pounding against her chest.

  Sophie turned around to face Amber with a smile when she opened the door.

  ‘Hi.’

  ‘You look like shit, Sophie,’ Amber said, shocked at Sophie’s pallor skin and sunken eyes.

  Sophie’s eyes widened in surprise. ‘Thanks. Good afternoon to you too.’

  ‘You look like you should be in bed, not outdoors.’

  ‘I know, I know, I had a little too much to drink last night.’

  ‘That much I guessed,’ Amber said.

  ‘Look, I don’t want to disturb you, but I just thought maybe we should talk. After last night. You know, after the—’

  ‘Yep. You’re right. We do need to talk.’ This was Amber’s chance to tell Sophie where she stood. ‘Let me grab my coat. We can walk and talk otherwise my dad will just try to charm you if we do it inside.’

  Sophie nodded.

  ‘Give me a sec.’

  Sophie nodded again and Amber pushed the door to, not closing it entirely.

  ‘Dad, I’m just nipping out for a bit,’ Amber yelled as she took a couple of steps down the hallway and retrieved her coat from its hook. ‘Won’t be long.’

  ‘Right-o, love. Say hi to Sophie for me.’

  Amber smirked. He’d seen who was at the door.

  ‘I will,’ she called back.

  A couple of steps and she was out the front door, shutting it behind her, and walking down the driveway with Sophie by her side. Amber knew the perfect spot where they could talk. Amber led the way, turning right at the bottom of the drive and heading up hill towards the outskirts of the village, Sophie struggled to keep the pace, puffing loudly the steeper the hill became. Amber slowed to allow Sophie to catch her breath.

  ‘Maybe we should have gone into town for a coffee,’ Amber said feeling slightly sorry for her when she saw the beads of sweat forming on Sophie’s forehead.

  ‘No this is… just what… I need,’ Sophie said between pants. ‘To… expel the … alcohol… from my system.’

  Amber looked around at the familiar countryside that hadn’t changed one iota since she could remember. Anything to refrain her from going to Sophie’s aid. She wanted to link arms with her to carry half her weight, but she was too scared of what her touch might do to her. She didn’t need even more memories planted in her mind. Their kiss was quite enough to be committed to her memory. The softness of her lips. Long dark eyelashes seductively curved around her green eyes that always made Amber feel she was being drawn into an exotic world. Amber had pulled away before she’d had the chance to relish the touch of her body pressed against her own. An action that she now sorely regretted, being with her again.

  ‘Why don’t we sit for a minute,’ Amber said, gesturing to a small bench at the bus stop. Maybe talking was the only way to stop her brain going into overdrive and dwelling on the what ifs.

  ‘Yeah, maybe it’s for the best,’ Sophie said with a grateful smile.

  They sat down, barely an inch apart, and both stared ahead at the village below.

  ‘It’s amazing to think some people have lived here all their lives, and will probably die here without living anywhere else,’ Sophie said.

  ‘My parents for one. But they have everything they want here. They have each other. So to them they could be anywhere in the world and it wouldn’t matter. I suppose that’s how a lot of people feel. It’s not the place. It’s who you’re with.’

  That much was true. As exciting as New York was and as much as she loved it, Amber knew if she had Sophie by her side it would be complete. That the feeling of longing that consumed her every minute of every day would vanish. Disappear. To be replaced with a sense of completion.

  ‘And is that how you feel about your fiancé? That you wouldn’t care where you were in the world with him as long as he was by your side?’

  Amber was at a loss what to say. She could hear the sadness in Sophie’s voice, and she knew for sure that she wasn’t imagining it. A slow creep of panic ensued inside. Had she made a massive mistake lying to Sophie about her non-exis
tent fiancé? It wasn’t as if she could just tell her the truth without looking like a liar. How would she even begin to explain why she’d invented him in the first place?

  ‘I don’t know, maybe,’ Amber said a little too fast, her nerves getting the better of her. Lying didn’t come naturally to her. In fact, it was a habit she abhorred which made her feel even worse. The saying ‘You become what you hate’ sprung to mind.

  Sophie turned to her and Amber could feel Sophie studying her intensely. It was a few moments before she spoke.

  ‘I just realised I haven’t even asked what you do in New York.’

  ‘I own a public relations company,’ Amber heard herself saying, as if she were talking about a stranger. ‘I represent singers mainly.’

  ‘Oh wow, that must be exciting.’

  ‘It is. Draining most of the time. Some of the egos I have to deal with are unbelievable…’

  ‘Do you work with your fiancé? What’s his name by the way?’

  ‘Who?’

  ‘Your fiancé.’

  ‘Oh umm… no.’ Amber’s mind scrambled as it sought out a suitable name. ‘Teddy is in IT.’

  Fuck! Really Teddy? Some imagination there.

  ‘Teddy?’ Sophie said as if she hadn’t heard right.

  ‘Yeah, but I call him Ted for short. He was named after Teddy Pendergrass. His mum’s favourite singer,’ Amber quickly replied. Oh I hate lying. I’m just digging a deeper hole.

  ‘What about yours? I mean your ex?’

  ‘My ex?’ Sophie toyed with the edge of her sleeve. ‘He’s um… Al… Andy.’

  ‘Andy?’

  ‘Yeah, don’t ask me why his parents called him that ’cause I have no idea.’

  ‘Andy and Teddy,’ Amber said smiling.

  ‘Yeah, cute names eh?’ Sophie said smiling back.

  They both sat back against the bench, sitting in silence as the sound of birds singing in the trees filled the air.

  Eventually, they decided to carry on walking. Amber led Sophie down a narrow country lane, passed one field, then Amber stopped and leant on the field gate of the next one along.

  Sophie wrinkled her nose as she stepped up beside her. ‘What’s that smell?’

  ‘It’s called fresh air,’ Amber said with a smile, ‘with a side order of slurry.’

  ‘It’s gross.’

  ‘You get used to it,’ Amber said, ‘this is the field where I used to keep my horse. The shelter has gone now, it used to be over there,’

  ‘I didn’t know you had a horse.’

  ‘You didn’t really know anything about me,’ Amber said almost choking up at the thought of how many times she had come to this field and cried her eyes out while Noddy would nudge her with his nose. A gesture that always made her laugh. After he died, Amber swore she would never come back here as the thought of reliving memories would be too much, but for some reason, she felt oddly at peace.

  Amber pointed vaguely off to the left of the field. ‘I used to love it up here. Gave me a chance to think, and a time not to.’

  ‘I wish I’d had somewhere like this to come to,’ Sophie said, staring into the distance.

  ‘We all need somewhere to think, or our mind gets muddled up when things should be clear and straightforward.’

  ‘Like us, you mean?’ Sophie turned to look at Amber with querying eyes. ‘Aren’t you feeling muddled after last night. I mean the kiss?’

  Amber turned away and stared back out into the field she’d spent so many hours in when she was younger, so many hours trying to figure out why Sophie seemed intent on hurting her by ignoring her. Denying her as if she didn’t exist. In that moment, all of the anger and hurt hit her with full force. Sophie didn’t deserve her forgiveness, not after how she had treated her.

  When Amber spoke, her voice was cold. Emotionless.

  ‘No, Sophie, I’m not.’ She leant against the fence and turned her head back to stare Sophie down.

  ‘No?’

  ‘No. There’s no confusion in my mind. We were teenagers, Sophie. Stupid, naïve teenagers. And if I recall you were the one who kissed me, pretty much like yesterday.’

  ‘I may have kissed you, but you responded, or are you going to deny that too.’

  ‘Deny it? There’s nothing to deny. There’s nothing between us.’ Amber combed her fingers through her hair. ‘What is it you want from me? D’you think we’re going to have a little torrid affair until I go home? D’you want to use me as some kind of rebound ’cause you broke up with your boyfriend? That shit won’t work with me this time, Sophie.’

  ‘I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am for the way I treated you—’

  ‘Save your bullshit for someone who cares,’ Amber said. She was on a roll and she didn’t give a flying fuck about the consequences. If Sophie didn’t like the hard facts, it was tough shit. All of the anger she had buried deep was now on the surface, and it wanted its final release.

  ‘You want the truth? Yes, you hurt me. You fucked me up so bad, I didn’t think I’d survive. But you know what? I did. I got over it, and I’m happy now. Happier than I’ve ever been in my life. And what I don’t need is you trying to drag up the past which is truly fucking buried. What part of that can’t you understand?’

  ‘I understand all of it now,’ Sophie said softly as she turned and wiped a tear at the corner of her eye.

  ‘Maybe we should head back,’ Amber said, feeling her defences wither at the sight of Sophie looking so vulnerable. Knowing that her harsh words had made her feel that way.

  Sophie simply nodded in agreement.

  They walked back to the town in silence. Amber was filled with relief that she’d finally got everything off her chest, but at what cost? Did Sophie really deserve that barrage of hate that she had just off loaded onto her? Amber didn’t know. Only time would tell when the dust settled, and her emotions were regulated. At the moment, all that mattered was that she’d made her position clear and that’s what counted.

  When they got back to the house, Amber stopped at the bottom of the drive.

  ‘Maybe we could get together for a drink before you go back to—’

  Amber was already shaking her head. She couldn’t risk her resolve for the sake of a G&T.

  ‘No, I think it’s better if we just say goodbye now.’

  Sophie’s face, already a picture of misery that was pulling at Amber’s heartstrings like crazy, fell even more, but then she forced a smile.

  ‘Okay. Time to move on, right?’

  ‘Right. Bye, Sophie.’ Amber so wanted to open her arms for a hug but knew that she couldn’t. This had to end now.

  ‘Bye,’ Sophie said, then with one last wry smile, she turned and headed to her car.

  Amber walked up the drive, not even trusting herself to turn and wave, conscious of the tears that rolled down both cheeks.

  When she reached the door and looked back, Sophie had gone.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Amber has every right to feel the way she does. I have no right to feel bad because she told me some home truths. I was in the wrong. Sophie repeated the thoughts over and over again in her mind as she topped up her glass of wine. Her earlier hangover long forgotten. What she needed right now was something to calm her nerves.

  Amber’s sudden outburst had shaken her to the core.

  What made things even worse was her sheer ignorance in failing to realise that her actions could have had such a deep and long-lasting effect on Amber.

  How stupid could I have been?

  Sophie made her way back to the living room. Bottle of wine and a glass in her hands.

  After only one glass, she felt somewhat steadier. Her mind clearer. Sitting down, she switched off the TV. She didn’t need any more news to depress her. She was doing a good job of that herself. Sophie took a long sip of the cool wine, determined to find a solution to her current situation.

  If there was one saving grace, it was the fact Amber had found love in New York. So what if
his name was Teddy? As long as he loved Amber that was all that mattered, and she should be happy for her. I should be… so why aren’t I?

  Because I want her to be with me, and only me. Why is life so unfair?

  Unfairness was something Sophie always had issues with. Why would someone come into your life and turn your world upside down, only for it to be revealed that they weren’t actually the ‘One’ and weren’t going to stay? This, despite the person ticking all the right boxes. It was like the universe took great pleasure in dangling a carrot in front of her, always out of reach. Well, it shouldn’t have surprised her really. The universe was well known for its reputation of putting asteroids in the path of planets teeming with life, so why would it give a toss about the fate of two people.

  Then suddenly without warning, Sophie’s head and heart started an internal war. Her heart told her not to give up. Explaining all the reasons why she shouldn’t accept the current situation.

  She had feelings for Amber, feelings she could honestly say were stronger than anything she’d felt for anyone in her whole life. Why would she give up so easily on capturing Amber’s heart? If Amber was meant to be with Teddy, so be it, but the least she could do is tell her how she felt and leave the decision in Amber’s hands. Sophie felt, no, knew in her heart of hearts that Amber still had feelings for her. She just had to find a way of getting her to open up about them.

  Sophie had to come up with some plan or another to win Amber over. She could do it. She knew she could.

  But then her mind offered a counter argument. What type of person would that make her if she purposely tried to win Amber over when she was away from her fiancé and vulnerable?

  That one made her think quietly for a while. Was that who she really was? Could she even consider trying to lure Amber away from Teddy and possibly ruin everything they had? Would she be happy? Would Amber? Was Amber even in that mind space?

  ‘It’s no good. I can’t sit here all day like this.’ Sophie shook her head as she spoke out loud.

  What am I going to do? Come on, Sophie, for goodness sake, make a plan and stick with it.

  She stood, walked over to the window and stared out onto the small back garden.