Guilty Hearts Read online

  “Well, my boss, Gloria, thought ...” The request stuttered on her lips. “It would be a good idea if I spent some time with you on one of the projects you’re working on. You know, to give our readers a real insight into the design process, maybe a before and after piece.”

  When Kathryn didn’t immediately respond, Rachel hastily added, “I mean you don’t have to, it was just a suggestion,” she said, sounding uncertain. It irked her to think she had put her foot in it by being overly familiar.

  “No, that sounds like a great idea. I was just thinking. I’m about to start a new project tomorrow that will last a few weeks, so if you’re interested ... you could cover that?”

  “That would be brilliant,” Rachel said, trying to contain her excitement. “Thank you so much, Kathryn.”

  “No problem. I’ll text you my work address and if tomorrow suits you, we could begin then.”

  “Tomorrow’s not a problem.”

  “Great, I’ll give my client a call and make sure it’s okay for you to tag along.”

  “Brilliant! I look forward to it,” Rachel said, unable to mask the excitement in her voice.

  “Me too,” Kathryn replied, “see you then.”

  “Okay, bye, and thanks again.”

  Rachel closed the mobile and stared at it. “I think that went pretty well,” she said, looking up at Gloria.

  “Go on, tell me,” Gloria asked.

  “As you may have gathered, she said yes.”

  Gloria punched the air. “Yes!”

  “She’s starting with a new client tomorrow. It’s going to last a few weeks. Is that alright?”

  “Is that alright? Rachel, it could take a year for all I care. We have just scooped the golden egg and she is firmly in our basket. Oh, wait until I tell Tony — he’s not going to believe it. Damn I can’t believe it,” Gloria said, proudly beaming at her. “Who would have believed this morning that we would be featuring Kathryn Kassel in our very own magazine?”

  “Yes indeed,” Rachel said, suddenly feeling weary.

  Gloria’s smile faded and her face suddenly became serious as she looked down at Rachel. She gave her a stern look. “Do you promise to behave yourself?”

  Rachel looked up at her with an expression of disbelief. “Yes, Gloria. I can’t believe you even had to ask.”

  Gloria’s laughed affectionately at her. “Just so long as we’re both on the same page. Now let me think ....” she said as she returned to her seat, still speaking her thoughts aloud.

  Rachel tuned out Gloria’s voice as she thought of the problem that she now faced — It was fantastic that Kathryn still wanted to do the interview. What was even better was the fact that she was going to get an insight in to the life of a woman whose work she had long admired. But what am I going to do about my feelings towards her?

  This was the first time that she had found herself in this position of being attracted to someone she couldn’t have. There was no way on this earth that she would try and instigate something between them now given that Gloria would have her head on a plate if she messed up this deal. If she stepped out of line, Kathryn might retract her generous offer of the interview and the magazine would most likely fold. Can I do it? Can I really keep myself in check?

  She tried to work out the practicalities of the situation in her mind. She was going to be working in close proximity with Kathryn and unless, God forbid, she lost her sight, how was she going to fight the strong attraction she felt to her? For some, it might be a straightforward case of restraint but Rachel didn’t know the meaning of the word when it came to things she wanted — and she wanted Kathryn, despite the deafening warning bells ringing in her ears.

  Shit, shit, shit, why did I agree to this?

  Looking at the excitement on Gloria’s face, she knew why and she also knew she was going to have to put her feelings aside, as the consequences of her actions could lead her to breaking the ‘golden egg’ as Gloria had so delicately put it.

  CHAPTER 5

  Rachel had set her alarm for quarter to six the next morning. She needed at least two hours to get through her routine of showering, breakfast, make-up, and hair. Opening her wardrobe, she decided to wear a two-piece business suit — black jacket and matching skirt, which ended inches above her knees, and a white low-cut figure-hugging top.

  After dressing, she put on her black-leather high heels and looked at herself in the full-length mirror. Pleased with her appearance, she went out into the living room where Zoe was hunched over her cornflakes, still in her stripy pyjamas bottoms and a white vest. Zoe spluttered the flakes out of her mouth as she looked at her friend in abject disbelief.

  Zoe cleared her throat. “Where are you going like that!?”

  “What do you mean?” Rachel asked innocently as Zoe stood up. Her six feet tall, slender frame towered over Rachel.

  “Don’t play the fool with me, Rachel, you know exactly what I mean.”

  She was hardly surprised by Zoe’s reaction — they had spent most of night talking about her chance meeting with Kathryn. Though she had played down her attraction to her, Zoe was no fool and had reprimanded her, telling her in no uncertain terms to leave Kathryn be. Zoe thought she was playing with fire even thinking of involving herself with a married client. But Rachel had been honest with Zoe when she had told her she had no intention being the third wheel in Kathryn’s marriage.

  Looking directly up at Zoe she said, “I’m going to meet Kathryn.”

  “Rachel, you can’t go to her office, or worse still, to her client’s house, dressed like that!”

  “Why?”

  “You want the truth?”

  “I’m not gonna like this, am I?”

  “There’s no easy way to say this, but you look like a high class hooker.”

  Rachel was almost rendered speechless. “Tell it like it is, why don’t you?” she snorted. “It’s a good thing I’m not easily offended.”

  “You can’t be offended by the truth.”

  “I thought I looked quite nice,” she said, twirling on the spot.

  “Rachel, you look more than nice, you look stunning — if your intention is to go and pick someone up in a hotel lobby, but you’re not, you’re meeting with a professional woman whose clients expect a little ... shall we say ... decorum.”

  “You’re such a bloody spoilsport!”

  “No, a life saver.”

  “You’re no fun,” Rachel said, pouting like a child.

  “Rach, babe,” Zoe sat back down, “you told me last night that meeting Kathryn was a life saver for the magazine — don’t do anything to sabotage it.”

  “I’m not going to,” Rachel protested. Even though it was going to be nothing but a business relationship, it didn’t mean she had to dress like a nun.

  Zoe smiled. “I believe you — not!”

  “I know I said I wasn’t interested in her, but I still want to look attractive.”

  “You couldn’t be unattractive if you wore a black bag over your head, sweetheart.”

  “As much as I love you, Zoe, you can be a bloody pain in the arse.”

  “I know; only because I care about you.”

  “I know you do,” Rachel said, playfully pinching Zoe’s cheek until she yelped.

  ***

  Rachel arrived at Kathryn’s office ten minutes early, dressed demurely in a grey trouser suit. Kathryn Kassel’s Designs was an office suite situated above a fashionable shop in a prominent position on the Kings Road, Chelsea. She found the entrance to the office, a frosted glass door with the inscription KK elegantly entwined in large letters, next door to an exclusive designer clothes shop. She pressed the bell and waited patiently. Within a few seconds, the door was swung open by a heavy-set fair-haired woman in her late thirties, wearing a long, grey, pleated skirt with a black cardigan over a grey shirt.

  “You must be Rachel,” she said warmly, holding out her hand.

  “Yes,” Rachel replied, shaking it.

  “I’m Carol,
we’ve been expecting you. Follow me, we’re up here.” She led her up a flight of wooden stairs and through one of the many doors that led off a narrow corridor. The large welcoming room had a mixture of warm-coloured leather sofas facing each other and bright prints scattered on the pale yellow walls. A bulky coffee table housed catalogues of fabrics, wallpaper designs and interior design magazines. Rachel smiled when she saw a copy of Women’s Lifestyle Magazine.

  “Can I get you something to drink — tea, coffee?” Carol asked.

  “No, thank you. I’m fine,” Rachel said politely.

  “Okay, take a seat and make yourself comfortable,” Carol said, her arm outstretched towards the sofas, “Kathryn won’t be long, she’s just sorting out a few things.”

  “Okay,” Rachel said, sitting down on a plush fabric sofa. We could do with these in our office. Although the room was quiet, she could faintly hear the ceaseless hum of traffic from the street below.

  She looked towards the door as it opened. Kathryn stepped into the room, holding a pile of folders against her chest. Dressed casually in jeans and a grey-ribbed jumper, she smiled fervently at Rachel. In a blink of an eye, something passed between them and then it was gone. Rachel wondered if she had imagined it.

  “Did you find the office okay?” Kathryn asked.

  “Yes, the cab driver knew exactly where it was.”

  “Good.” Kathryn dropped the files onto the coffee table and began sorting them into piles, briefly looking up at her. “I bought a copy of your magazine yesterday, I must say I was very impressed with your articles. In fact, I thought the whole magazine was really informative.”

  “Thanks, I’ll let my boss know — she’ll be chuffed to hear that coming from you.” For no apparent reason, Rachel felt the strange reversal of their roles, Kathryn's energy was different than it had been the night before when Rachel had felt fully in control.

  Kathryn smiled. “It’s the truth — anyway, the others will be here in a minute, then we can get started.”

  “Great,” Rachel said as her gaze lingered on Kathryn’s mouth. She thought the touch of red lipstick seemed remarkably seductive. Only when the other staff members started to enter the room and occupy the empty spaces on the sofas was Rachel able to take her eyes off her.

  The air filled with chatter until Kathryn stood and a cloak of silence descended on the room, all eyes focusing on her. “I’d like to introduce you all to Rachel,” she said, gesturing toward her.

  “Hi, Rachel,” they all said in unison, turning to look at her.

  “Hello,” she said, feeling strangely shy. She was relieved when Kathryn carried on talking.

  “Rachel will be following me around for a few weeks for a cover piece in Women’s Lifestyle Magazine.” She smiled at Rachel, warmth echoing in her voice. She continued for several minutes, introducing her staff before coming to the last two members of the team.

  “Rob here is our architect.”

  An easy grin played at the corner of Rob’s mouth as he nodded his head towards her.

  “And lastly Cody, who is our buyer, here and overseas.”

  The long-legged, slim woman with short spiky blonde hair stood up and walked the short distance to Rachel, thrusting her hand in front of her. “Nice to meet you.” Her emerald green eyes engaged Rachel’s with frank interest.

  Amused, Rachel placed her hand in hers. “Nice to meet you too, Cody,” she said before the woman flashed her a smile and returned to her seat.

  “Kathryn,” Carol gently interrupted her before she could go on.

  Kathryn looked towards her.

  Gesturing to her watch, Carol said, “You’d better get a move on, you don’t want to get caught in the rush hour.”

  “Okay. Rachel, I’ll fill you in with more details in the car,” Kathryn said, as she moved towards the door and held it open.

  “Nice to have met you all,” Rachel said, standing up, addressing them all at once. She noticed Cody unabashedly giving her the once over and couldn’t help but smile at her — she knew a player when she saw one. She wondered if Kathryn had ever been on the receiving end of her attention.

  “The pleasure was all ours,” Cody replied, moistening her lips.

  ***

  Kathryn eased her convertible Jaguar into the oncoming traffic — the inside of the car was immaculate and had the potent smell of new leather. A police car whizzed past them in the next lane, its siren undulating down the street ahead of them.

  “That’s why I don’t drive in London,” Rachel said, shaking her head, “people drive like maniacs, even the police.”

  “I totally agree but I’d be lost without my car. I seem to spend eighty percent of my life in it.”

  Rachel settled back into her seat. “I thought you would have a driver with the amount of travelling you must do.”

  “Oh God no.” Kathryn laughed easily. “I like to have my own space.”

  “Oh,” Rachel said, feigning offence with a smile.

  “No, I wasn’t talking about you,” Kathryn said apologetically, placing her hand on Rachel’s leg for a split second.

  Rachel’s nerve endings tingled at Kathryn’s touch, her blood coursing through her veins like an awakened river. For the second time that morning, she felt out of her comfort zone, the confident in-charge Rachel relegated to the back seat.

  “So you do have a driving licence?” Kathryn asked, as she calmly swerved the car away from hitting a cyclist who had appeared from nowhere.

  “Yes, I passed my test the first time when I was seventeen,” Rachel answered quickly, slightly shaken by the near miss and the warm glow that was taking over her body.

  “What was your first car?”

  Rachel tucked her hair behind her ears. “A mini, what was yours?”

  “A Mercedes,” Kathryn replied flatly.

  “You didn’t like it?” Rachel asked, tilting her head to the side. There weren’t many people she knew who would be disappointed with owning such a car.

  “Oh no, it wasn’t the car itself — that was great; it’s just that I wanted a Beetle but my husband bought me a Mercedes as a birthday present.”

  “Some husband you have there; does he have any siblings?” Rachel joked.

  “Yes, he has a brother but I don’t think he’d be your type.”

  “Why’s that?” Rachel asked, her eyebrows raised.

  “You don’t strike me as the homey, kiddie type.”

  Rachel arched her eyebrows. “Definitely not.” She lived by the motto no kids, no ties. But she was interested to know what sort of impression she had made on Kathryn. “So what type do I strike you as?”

  Kathryn slowed the car down to stop at traffic lights and turned to look at her. Rachel looked into her eyes, searching. Something in the way Kathryn looked back terrified her, yet held her.

  “I think,” Kathryn began slowly, “you’re a free spirit ... no man could tie you down.”

  “Actually I’m —” Rachel began, caught up in the sudden intensity of the moment.

  The sound of a horn bleeping from behind them broke the spell. Kathryn put the car into gear and edged forward.

  That was a bit ... intense? Feeling a little overheated, Rachel depressed the small button on the door and the window effortlessly slid down. An awkward pause hung between them as Rachel prepared herself for what she would say next. The moment where she had been about to set Kathryn straight about her sexuality had been lost. Rachel always found it amusing when people just assumed she was straight because she was feminine. She didn’t mind much, it was only when she got hassled by guys that it became a problem. She had lost count of the amount of men who had tried to convince her that she just needed the right man. Fat chance — like that was ever going to ever happen in this lifetime.

  Rachel found herself studying Kathryn’s profile as she stared straight ahead, concentrating on her driving while she wove her way in and out of the traffic. She is so Goddamn beautiful.

  Rachel shifted in her s
eat as she felt an urgent desire to reach over and touch Kathryn, to feel what was forbidden. She tried to imagine what it would be like to be given a free rein over Kathryn’s body. Had Kathryn felt the chemistry that had passed between them. If she had, she didn’t seem to be that affected by it. For Rachel, it had been a new experience. She had never felt such an intense emotion just by looking into another woman’s eyes. She chided herself for getting ahead of herself. What was she thinking? She should know better than to lose herself in childish romantic fantasies. Stick to reality — Kathryn is married, Gloria needs this interview to go without a hitch and I made a promise to keep away from Kathryn.

  Minutes passed, both women seemingly lost in their own private worlds, when they suddenly both started talking at the same time. They laughed at the synchronicity, breaking the ice.

  “After you,” Kathryn said.

  “I was just going to say what a great team you have working for you,” Rachel said, trying to steer the conversation towards neutral ground.

  “Yes, they are.” Kathryn smiled. “They’re like family.”

  “Do you have any family living nearby?”

  “No, my mother died when I was fourteen,” Kathryn said with sadness.

  “I’m sorry. And your father?” Rachel probed.

  “My father ...” Kathryn paused. “No, he doesn’t live nearby.” Rachel could tell by Kathryn’s tone it was best not to try and coax any more information on what was obviously a sore subject but she remained intrigued as to what could have caused a breakdown in their relationship. Kathryn didn’t strike her as the sort of person who fell out with people.

  “What about you?” Kathryn asked as she followed the road sign for Knightsbridge.

  “I’m an only child, Dad left when I was nine, and my mum ...” Rachel cleared her throat. She could feel her eyes starting to moisten, but quickly blinked away the tears; her sense of loss was beyond tears. “My mum has Alzheimer’s.”

  “Oh God, Rachel, I’m so sorry, it must be tough for you.”

  Rachel crossed her arms protectively around her waist. “It is. The worst part was having to put her in a care home when I couldn’t cope looking after her.” The misery of that day still haunted her but there was nothing more she could do for her. Her mum had reached the stage where she needed care around the clock and Rachel just didn’t have the energy anymore. After six years of caring for her mum by herself, she had been worn down to the point that she dreaded waking up in the morning and that just filled her with more guilt.