Lost In You Page 9

  Both women exited the car simultaneously and made their way down the stairs to the embankment. Vanessa led the way to the Mexican restaurant and chose a table overlooking the river. They sat in silence as they studied the menu. Every few seconds Heidi glanced up to look at Vanessa and at one stage pinched her leg to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. That she was actually sat opposite her. While they waited for their food and drinks to arrive, they made small talk about the design of the restaurant and the clever way it had been built using large steel storage containers to make dining areas.

  ‘You surprise me,’ Heidi said.

  ‘Why’s that?’ Vanessa asked, before taking a bite of her burrito.

  ‘This,’ Heidi jerked her head to the building around them. ‘I didn’t think you’d be into—’

  ‘You think this is slumming it?’ Vanessa asked with amusement.

  ‘Oh no, not at all. Not for me anyway—’

  ‘If it’s good enough for you, why not me?’

  ‘Because,’ Heidi said awkwardly. ‘You can afford to eat anywhere you like—’

  ‘And I do. At places where the food is good. Are you enjoying your wrap?’

  Heidi took a few seconds to savour the taste. ‘It’s amazing.’

  ‘Well, there you go. It’s nothing to do with money. I’ve eaten at Michelin star restaurants that have been … let’s just say underwhelming. Money doesn’t govern my choices in life.’

  What must it be like to live like that? Money does nothing but govern my life.

  ‘I’m sorry, I wasn’t judging—’

  ‘I didn’t think you were.’

  ‘It wasn’t my intention, but I know I can sound a bit judgemental sometimes,’ Heidi said.

  ‘I like that you’re straightforward.’

  ‘You do?’

  Vanessa nodded.

  ‘Are you sure you’re related to Craig? Because I still find it impossible to believe.’

  ‘You’re not the first and you won’t be the last person to think that.’

  Heidi took a mouthful of Coke. ‘What was it like growing up with him?’

  Vanessa considered the question carefully before answering. ‘Difficult. Especially when he found out I was gay.’

  ‘That bad huh?’

  Vanessa shifted in her seat and lowered her eyes to her beer bottle, as if she was embarrassed to share any more personal information. So Heidi was surprised when Vanessa finally said, ‘Worse than bad. I didn’t need to come out to my parents, he did it for me. On their wedding anniversary in front of sixty guests. I thought my grandparents were going to drop dead on the spot.’

  ‘Oh my God, what a ….’ She paused abruptly. Heidi’s expression must have shown her embarrassment, because Vanessa waved her hand dismissively, saving her from the obligation to continue.

  ‘Prick,’ Vanessa said. ‘It’s okay you can say it.’

  ‘I was thinking something a little harsher. So, how did everyone take it?’

  ‘Oh you know, a little embarrassed laugh here and there. Bless my dad, he opened his wine cellar and Craig’s little speech was soon forgotten.’

  ‘I don’t know if I could have forgiven him after pulling a stunt like that.’

  Vanessa took another swig of her beer, not bothering to hide her annoyance at the memory. ‘When it’s one thing after another, you soon forget what you were angry about in the first place.’

  ‘And your parents? Do they let him get away with what he wants?’

  ‘Both my parents are retired and live in Florida. My dad had a heart attack and my mum gave him an ultimatum. Divorce or retire. So he retired. He has nothing to do with the business anymore. My mum won’t allow it.’

  ‘So Craig’s pretty much left to his own devices?’ What a scary thought.

  ‘Yeah you could say that. Most of the time I try to keep out of his way and his business dealings.’ Vanessa stared at Heidi in such a way it made her stomach dance. ‘Let’s talk about you.’

  Heidi shifted in her seat. ‘Me?’

  Vanessa nodded. ‘Why would someone like you choose to work at the centre?’

  ‘Why would someone like you choose to be a property developer?’

  ‘I didn’t have a choice.’

  ‘Neither did I. My work at the centre is like a calling.’

  ‘Sort of like a nun to the church?’ Vanessa smiled.

  ‘Yeah, you could say that. I remember how messed up I was when I was a teenager. The confusion, the wanting to belong, to be “normal” whatever that is. A place like Young Minds literally saved my sanity. So I suppose when the opportunity to manage the centre arose, I felt it was my chance to help others who were like me.’

  ‘That makes sense.’

  ‘Now you tell me something.’

  ‘Whatever you want.’

  As Vanessa’s eyes roamed over Heidi’s face the heat rose to Heidi’s cheeks. How was it even possible for Vanessa to have that effect on her? Determined not to let her hormones get the better of her, she straightened in her seat and stared back at Vanessa, unblinking. Unwavering. This would be so much easier if she wore sunglasses. ‘Did you tell your brother you were coming to the centre today?’

  Vanessa shook her head and smiled.

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Because what I do has got nothing to do with him. Besides, I think he’s in the wrong.’

  ‘For buying the property?’

  ‘No, not that. Heidi, that property was put on the market ages ago. If it wasn’t us that snapped it up, it would have been someone else. Howard Baker was determined to sell.’

  What a little shit. ‘Now that I didn’t know.’

  ‘It was the way Craig handled the situation I didn’t agree with.’

  ‘What, like letting us find out via social media? No, it wasn’t very professional. So, what would he say if he found out about us doing—’

  ‘Doing?’

  ‘You know. This.’

  ‘And what exactly is this?’

  Something? Nothing? Heidi’s chest tightened as Vanessa leant towards her.

  ‘Do you mind if ….’

  ‘No, no I don’t.’ Heidi’s voice took on a husky tone. Eyes closed, her lips formed a small pout. She counted the seconds, waiting for that first touch of her lips. Of Vanessa’s soft sensuous mouth pressed against her own. In that moment, Heidi didn’t care that they were sat outside, surrounded by a slew of commuters and tourists zipping past them. She didn’t care about anything but … She frowned when a rough texture dabbed at her mouth.

  Those aren’t her lips. At least I hope they aren’t.

  Her eyes flew open in time to see Vanessa leaning back, paper napkin in hand. Heidi picked up her drink and sucked hard on the straw, trying to seem as if she hadn’t been waiting in anticipation for an intimate moment. Did I really think a successful business woman would snog me like a horny teenager? I need to get a grip.

  Heidi was grateful that Vanessa seemed more interested in the menu than her.

  ‘That’s the problem with this place. I can never have enough. Do you fancy something else?’

  Heidi cleared her throat and held up her wrap half-heartedly. ‘This is more than enough, thanks.’

  ‘In that case, I think I’ll have … The garlic ….’ Vanessa stopped and glanced sideways at Heidi. A small smile played on her lips. ‘Maybe not. I think I’ll go with dessert instead. You?’

  Heat rose all the way from Heidi’s stomach, fanned out around her neck then crawled slowly to her face. ‘Dessert sounds good. Thank you.’

  Heidi broke the intense eye contact and glanced around at the other diners. They didn’t seem to have a care in the world as they laughed and chatted amongst themselves. She turned back to Vanessa, who was still gazing at her through the thick lashes that framed her magnetic eyes.

  ‘Are you seeing anyone?’ Vanessa let the words trail off and took a mouthful of her drink.

  ‘No, are you?’ Heidi bit her bottom lip as she waited impatiently fo
r her answer.

  ‘No. Do you live alone?’

  Heidi didn’t know how long it would be before she would be forced to move into shared accommodation, but that wasn’t the question. The sexy vixen sitting opposite wanted to know if there was somewhere they could be alone. Heidi nodded.

  ‘Do you want to go back to your place?’

  Vanessa shot her a look of such desire that Heidi wanted to climb over the table and kiss her delectable lips hard. Instead, she gripped the edge of her seat. Yes, yes and yes.

  Vanessa’s eyes flashed with amusement as if she sensed Heidi’s inner yearning.

  ‘Let’s go then.’

  The journey back to her apartment was made in silence. Heidi knew if she spoke she’d probably put her foot in it. What sane person would ask their potential lover if they were doing the right thing considering the circumstances? Instead of imagining Vanessa writhing beneath her in pure ecstasy all she saw in her mind’s eye was Simone with a ‘what the fuck’ expression on her face. Or Richie eyeing her with distain and Christina, she didn’t even want to think about what she’d say.

  Heidi didn’t want to act too hastily, which was a little late seeing as Vanessa was now standing in her living room, eyeing Heidi as if she was her first meal of the day.

  ‘Coffee?’ Heidi asked, hoping she hadn’t missed any underwear lying around.

  Vanessa shook her head and moved towards her, narrowing the gap between them with each step.

  Fighting the urge to either flee or run straight into Vanessa’s arms, Heidi said, ‘How about some tea. Yes, tea’s a good idea. Peppermint is great for the digestive system, especially after the meal we’ve just—’

  Heidi stopped rambling when Vanessa was inches away. It was all too easy to get lost in Vanessa’s gaze. She couldn’t possibly pretend that she wasn’t affected by her. Heidi’s body pulsated in a way she had forgotten.

  Vanessa reached out to Heidi, one hand firmly around her waist, the other gripping the back of her head. Heidi’s spirits soared when Vanessa’s body crushed against her own, her nipples so hard Heidi could feel them through the material of her shirt. Her heart thumped erratically. A low gasping moan escaped Heidi as Vanessa’s tongue slid across Heidi’s lips, then seductively slipped inside her mouth; tasting her, filling her, owning her. Lost in the euphoria of the moment, Heidi didn’t prevent Vanessa’s hand from moving up her skirt, skimming her thighs. Stroking, rubbing, probing. Melting inside her moist entrance. In a frenzy, Heidi’s hands indiscriminately explored the silkiness of Vanessa’s thick hair, the firmness of her pert breasts, the length of her toned back. Now she was kissing back hard. Heidi desperately wanted to rip the clothes from Vanessa’s body, drag her into the bedroom and devour each and every part of her body. Inch, by inch.

  Suddenly, reality hit home and Heidi started thinking about what the consequences would be if things went any further. Yes, they would end up having mind-blowing sex, but then what? Vanessa would no doubt leave, having considered their encounter to be nothing more than a one-night stand. Heidi would be heartbroken and downtrodden, again. And there was always the chance of Vanessa back-tracking on her decision to help the centre, deciding it wasn’t such a good move to mix business with pleasure. The end result would leave the centre in an even worst position and it would all be because Heidi couldn’t keep her fantasy where it should be. In her head.

  The choice of having support for the centre or having hot sex was staring her straight in the face, but she knew there wasn’t a chance in hell she could have both. One had to go.

  ‘Wait,’ Heidi barely managed to say. Her mouth still tingled in the aftermath of Vanessa’s fiery embrace.

  ‘Don’t stop, not now.’

  ‘I … We can’t do this … Not yet,’ Heidi said breathlessly, reluctantly pushing Vanessa’s hand away. ‘I’m not ready for this.’

  Vanessa’s heavy, hooded eyes burnt with desire. ‘You could have fooled me.’

  Heidi took a step back and instinctively crossed her arms, creating a barrier between them. ‘I want this so badly—’

  ‘But?’

  ‘It doesn’t feel right … I mean it does feel right. It’s amazing,’ she said flustered. ‘Just not now.’

  ‘You’re right.’ Vanessa quickly buttoned her shirt as she spoke. ‘We’re moving too fast.’

  ‘Only because of the circumstances.’ Heidi’s voice was full of regret at the lost opportunity. She couldn’t believe how close she had come to having sex for the first time in over a year. Stifling a sigh and trying to ignore a surge of frustration, she forced herself to say something. ‘Do you fancy a tea?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Are you sure because—’

  ‘It’s late. Would you mind calling me a cab please?’

  Heidi swallowed her disappointment. ‘A cab? Yeah okay.’

  Palms slick with sweat, Heidi fished her phone out of her pocket and called the local taxi firm. ‘It’ll be here in five minutes,’ she said as she hung up.

  ‘Thanks.’ Vanessa hesitated, her eyes unreadable. ‘I think I’ll wait downstairs.’

  ‘Are you sure?’

  Vanessa nodded.

  ‘Okay,’ Heidi said, even though she knew things weren’t okay between them. Not now that the line between their professional and personal lives had become blurred.

  ‘I enjoyed tonight,’ Vanessa said.

  ‘Me too, I only wish—’

  ‘You don’t have to explain.’

  Vanessa walked out of the door, leaving Heidi to wonder how long it would be before she saw her again and what, if anything, would happen between them.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Vanessa had been lost, smitten, from the very first moment she laid eyes on Heidi. Not that she would ever admit it, especially to Natalie. Even in her mind the thought sounded like a distasteful confession. How could she own up to something when she didn’t even know what she wanted from Heidi. Sex? Most definitely. But she knew being involved with a woman like Heidi was never going to be a ‘jump in, jump out’ type of affair and, no matter how much Vanessa tried to convince herself that she could take or leave her, Heidi had got under her skin. Every part of her body still pulsated, yearned with an ache not yet satisfied. Vanessa might look like a controlled woman on the outside, but tonight her insides were a burning inferno. Nobody had ever elicited emotions like Heidi had, and this knowledge disturbed her on many levels.

  But what’s the point of feeling like this? Vanessa knew it could never go any further. Not when her home life was so complicated. She had Kelli to think about. And I’m hardly doing a great job on that front.

  Kelli’s thunderous voice played in her head. I wish you had died instead of my mother.

  The last thing Vanessa wanted was to provide Kelli with yet another reason to hate her. If she suddenly appeared to be happily dating, it would be like rubbing salt in an open wound. It would unsettle Kelli and make her feel like she was a burden to Vanessa, even though this was the furthest thing from the truth.

  And then there was Craig. Despite her growing hatred of the man he had become, he was family, and that meant sticking together. Facing the world as one. She couldn’t betray him, regardless of how much he deserved it. Her loyalty to the family came first and always would.

  Whichever way she turned, it seemed her happiness would be denied.

  Arriving home, Vanessa went straight to her bedroom. She wanted to be alone with her thoughts … Heidi. No matter how hard she tried to fight it, she knew it was futile trying to forget those few minutes of bliss.

  Vanessa crossed the room and closed the blinds, before turning off her bedside lamp. She slipped out of her clothes, letting them drop to the floor, and slid into bed. The sheets were cool against her heated body as she closed her eyes and soon drifted. In a semi-conscious state, she imagined she was still in Heidi’s apartment, feeling the vibration of Heidi’s hypnotic heart beat pounding against her chest, her arms draped around Heidi’s neck pulling
her close. Her hand seared a path down Heidi’s stomach and along her inner thigh, until she reached her swollen clit. Every thought of her earlier encounter with Heidi, made Vanessa’s body quiver with need. The aroused pink tip of Heidi’s breast, the wetness between her legs. Vanessa’s lips parted and she could all but taste the sweetness of Heidi’s mouth.

  She drew in a short sharp breath, shocked by the intensity of her imagination. When her hand located the throbbing spot it sought, she quickened her circular movement as fire spread throughout her. In her mind’s eye, she saw Heidi’s naked body sprawled out beneath her own; waiting, wanting. Vanessa bit her lip as Heidi’s face became more vivid. Her breasts rose sharply as she drew in jagged breaths. Her aroused nipples shivered. Flushed by a dizzying rush of emotion, the last shuddering moments came upon her. Now the flame-like urgency had passed, with Heidi still occupying her mind, Vanessa relaxed and let ripple upon ripple of ecstasy seep through her entire body. It might not have happened today, but it will happen—and soon. Business deal or not. That was one guarantee Vanessa could give her.

  Chapter Eighteen

  What’s the worst that can happen?

  Kelli had been asking herself the same question for over an hour and she still hadn’t come up with a suitable reply. She’d been standing around like a wallflower, working up the nerve to go inside the centre. In the end, she resorted to drinking the can of beer she had stashed in her bag for emergencies. Kelli didn’t have a drink problem per se; she just used alcohol to ease the sorrow from eating into her soul. It actually helped her feel something. Even if it was undiluted rage at the unfair hand she had been dealt in her short life. She would gladly hang on to an emotion to make her feel human.